So, as most of you may know I have to have monitoring multiple times a day, but they moved me to a more comfortable floor for the last week to do so. Where I had more freeness to walk and get up and not be connected 24/7.
Yesterday during monitoring he had two decelerations in his heart rate within 15 min of each other and then a large acceleration to try and catch up. Basically that tells us that the two decels were a lot for his little body. Given that information, they moved me to labor and delivery for extended monitoring in the morning. I was only hoping to be here overnight at the longest but as monitoring progressed, he started having frequent decels so they tried moving positions when they happened, left, right, back, sit up. That didn't seem to he helping so they gave me oxygen to see if that would help bennett and started an IV fluids so I would not get dehydrated also because I cannot eat when down here just incase they need to do a c-section. The oxygen seemed to help and I went almost 4 hours without a decel so they decided i could finally eat after 12 hours!! A good friend brought me some pizza and even though I felt as if I could eat a horse my small stomach size reminded me differently! ;) after being pregnant with makylee I trained my stomach to eat small meals all day so even to this day I can rarely finish anything, despite my fooling body figure. ;) shortly after eating he dipped into a decel that went pretty low (almost 60's) and 4 people where in the room trying to readjust me and get his heart rate back up. After that last decel I was put back on no food or drink and that's where I have remained.
Throughout the night he had decels but non that caused them to preform an emergency c-section But the decels are happening more frequent then they want and can never be sure if its him compressing his cord or a true emergency. The doctor just came into review my strip from the night and explained that they probably won't be sending me back upstairs today and ill need to be continually monitored again and they aren't sure for how long. They are stuck in a place where they don't want to wait for his decel patterns to become severe and dip into long patterns where they need to preform a general anethestia but they also don't want to take him out yet either.
So we wait in the gap of the unknown. Not knowing when our son will be born or if he will be ok. I do rest in the fact that god knows which puts my heart at ease. This threw off my plans for the day as chari was going to bring up the girls to visit and spend the day. But now, being in labor and delivery on constant monitoring really puts a kink in my plans and that is the part that upsets me the most. I miss my girls and I just wanted to spend the day with them and try and make it semi normal. (As normal as one can be in the hospital that is.) I am on constant monitoring with an IV and can only get up to go to the bathroom. It's not the time or the environment I want my girls to be in. So I am praying tonight goes well and I can be moved tomorrow so I can visit my girls !
Although tired, hungry, aching in every part of my body from probably the most uncomfortable bed known to man, missing home, missing my husband and girls, missing the normalcy that our "old" life gave I know that God has this all covered and as much as my day is constantly changing, his plan for my life and Bennett isn't. It's constant and He is my constant. He hasn't left my side during this and I know He won't. He has challenged me from the day he asked me the tough question of "How far are you willing to go to trust me?", that is the day my life changed, the day I started living for a different purpose, the day God blessed me with all that I needed to make it to the end of this journey, whatever that may be.
I end as I always do, Thank you for your prayers, your visits, and encouragement. I can't say enough that God is GOOD. And until your in a circumstance where every being of your life is tested, you may not fully grasp that or be able to say that. But if i can still say that, and all the countless before me tested can say that, cant you?
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