After months of Bennett fighting all odds, from highs to lows. May 16th at 3:40pm our Bennett went to be with Jesus while lying in my arms, with the whispers of me and my husband pouring our hearts, love and prayers into his ears.
That day is one I will remember the rest of my days. Chari and I fully prepared to enter the care conference to tell them they were to do EVERYTHING possible to help our son, only to realize that they had, that they were and that their "everything" was not enough. To be made aware we had no other options, that our road was not life. I remember at one point during the meeting I couldn't hear their voices any longer and I heard God asking me "how far are you willing to go to trust me? are you willing to accept that this is my plan for his life?". Tears. I remember telling myself that I just wanted to hold him and be with him and love on him. So after lots of prayer that is exactly what we did. There were so many tears involved and so many questions asked but so much peace at the same time. The peace that only God gives. Our pastor and his wife were there with us that day and they were able to be with us and pray over us with bennett and most importantly, dedicate him back to God.
Our sons heart condition went from best case scenario to worst case scenario and there was nothing that could be done. A cardiologist stated that an average baby born with his heart condition would not have survived birth. So I know that It is a miracle that God gave me Bennett for 56 days and I choose to be GRATEFUL for every second of them. He wanted to fight but his heart and body wouldn't let him. As a mother, its the most excruciating thing to see. We didn't understand it until that day, until he looked into my eyes before passing telling me without words that I could let him go and he loved me. I got to be a mom to Bennett for that time and that is a blessing. Far to many mothers get none. Thank you God for that.
He was a fighter, such a beautiful and incredibly life saving angel from our God and my heart hurts that he is not here. What I would give to be holding him again, singing to him and caring for him. I know I will do this again, with strong belief in my heart I know this.
We never pictured this journey for our lives. Its always something you read about and pray for other families but never imagine for yourself. who would? But let me tell you, God has done some amazing work in my life through Bennett. He was my angel in more ways than one. Through Bennett God taught me to LIVE again, to be grateful, to Love deeper, to trust harder and to have faith even when the path ahead was too dark to see. I have grown up in the church and "thought"I knew God but there comes a point in I believe every ones faith journey where you wonder if God is there, if he is real, and If he even cares about you. I can say today that I no longer "think I know God". I DO KNOW GOD and I can promise without any doubts in my whole body that He IS THERE, HE IS REAL, PRESENT and HE CARES SO MUCH. It took me fully trusting him, laying my life expectations in his hands, and putting all faith in him to realize it and I only wish that I had started sooner. (better late than never )
One time since Bennett's passing have I questioned God asking him "WHY? WHY BENNETT, WHY US?" and he took me back to the day where we found out what was going on in the pregnancy, where we knew we were not to abort him but to continue the pregnancy, and I asked God to Please use us for His Glory, use Bennett for His Glory. and it was then that I realized, that we did not get the outcome we expected but we got the outcome that God panned, the outcome that he designed for our lives. My son touched peoples lives WITHOUT words. He could speak to people without words and that is because God was living in him and pouring out his love through him. How blessed I am to be a mother to such an amazing son, How undeserving I felt that God cared so much for me that he gave me Bennett, one of his angels. I was hand picked for this journey. In awe of His love for me.
I knew Bennett's life touched many, but could not quite understand how much until his passing and all the Love and support that has been out poured over this household. I have no words but thank you! Thank you so much and may God bless you as you have all blessed us.
Moving forward has been rough but I still am surrounded by angel armies giving me peace, love, and joy. I am not angry with God, I choose to see that he gave me days with Bennett when I might have had none. We will always feel like something is missing. I will always feel a sense of emptiness, but I do know that in return, God will fill and consume the deepest places of my soul with him. The enemy is out to deceive, kill and destroy and we must constantly be prepared to throw Gods counteroffers when he attempts to plant his seeds. I KNOW that we did everything there was to do for Bennett and we will not believe anything other than this. We have NO regrets. God numbered my sons days, not man.
We don't know where we will go from here but we do know that as we have in this last year will keep our eyes on our savior. I have and will have my moments of sadness which is okay, but God has been flooding my mind with the good memories of Bennett and teaching me to focus on the good I had with him rather than the fact that he is not still here. He is here in spirit and I will forever hold him in my heart and as I have shared before, believing that when I meet Bennett again, it will feel as if he never left them.
I have 3 children. 2 girls and 1 sweet, perfect, innocent and COMPLETE angel boy.
A MESSAGE FROM THE AMAZING FAMILY AND FRIENDS HELPING WITH A FUNDRAISER: The Benefit in Memory of Bennett will be held on June 14th 6-9pm: Spaghetti Dinner with silent auction tables, bake sale tables and other fundraising ideas. If you have anything to donate to the silent auction table please drop them off at either with Janice Webb At Webb Chiropractic or Kelly Long Howard at Long Bros. Lumber. Email me that you have done so please. If you have baked goods you would like to make please bring them by the Foursquare Church the night before the event or day of but please let me know so I have a price sheet ready to go for you, and space for them. There will be a car wash the next day still working on details but if you can donate your time to wash cars that would be great. email me at cindivetter@gmail.com. Share to get the word out for the event to help the Puente family in honoring the memory of Bennett and helping with their medical costs and additional expenses. You can also donate funds at any US Bank in the name of Bennett Timothy James Puente. The family and Rick Puente and I appreciate all your help. If you have any questions please call me at 503-984-3825 or email Rick at rick.puente@gmail.com
Thank you all for taking this jouney with us. I fully believe Bennett's journey will never be over, he will still be touching lives far after.
That day is forever etched in my heart and mind as well! Thank you so much for sharing your hearts, passion and love with me! I still can't believe I was allowed to be a part of such a sacred event. The love you poured over Bennett in those final hours still brings me to tears and reminds me of the love our Heavenly Father graciously and continually pours over me, even when I am undeserving! God used my time with his precious warrior and his earthly parents to call be back to Himself. I am forever changed by my little buddy Bennett and can't wait to hug him again some day!
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