tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90529935383798633152024-02-18T19:52:31.808-08:00Our Journey with Bennett...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-221325723317162562016-03-20T01:28:00.002-07:002016-03-20T01:28:34.536-07:00I have tasted and seen of the sweetest of loves...Its that time of the year again. A day that is usually celebrated with the child that you are celebrating, but in typical Puente fashion (in that we never quite stick to the rule books) we will be celebrating his birthday on the candle wishes of "We wish you were here son". I remember his magical birth as if it were just yesterday, the presence of rainbows, prayers, miracles and doctors. his cry. <div>
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Each year brings an overwhelming reminder of what is lost for a time on this earth, a reminder of the many unanswered questions that I still have. I am so grateful to serve a God who sees these innocent questions and still loves me, He knows the very innermost pains in my heart that sometimes I am to lost to see. I'm reminded that He already knows my ugly and He loves me despite that. He reminds me that He saw my pain and in place of that pain traded it for His unspeakable joy, His comfort, His peace...if only I am to daily lay my burdens and ugly at the feet of Jesus, because there is a sacrifice and obedience in being vulnerable to the one who sacrificed it all for me. </div>
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I have done<span style="background-color: white;"> a lot</span> in my grief journey that many may never understand, even myself. But there is a purpose to every season, to every stage of my grief and I have to respect the process. I cant look on the other side of the mountain and just pray to be over there. I have to walk through the sludge and muck, I have to combat enemies of unknowns so when I reach that other side, I am the complete servant that is perfect and lacking nothing as is speaks in James. Oh how that is the cry of my heart Lord. I thank You for my journey, I thank You for testing my faith God because You saw me where I was and told me "Andrea, I love you far to much to keep you here". You are leading me on a daily path, I fall short but as ever, You meet me and fill me with more of You and remind me that there needs to be less of me. This journey You entrusted me with, my pain, my grief, my tears, my words, my life, my legacy God is for Your Glory.</div>
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Bennett, Mommy cant put into words the ways that my heart misses you and longs to hold you just one more time, to breathe you in. The way my heart cries that our journey together could not have been different, the way that you calmed me and completed that place in my heart. Your life was so precious, and i consider it pure joy to have celebrated your entrance into this world 3 years ago. I miss you, so bad it hurts. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-76287414480391578812014-08-22T13:29:00.002-07:002014-08-22T13:29:56.047-07:00Loved you from the start<b><i>Sometimes God says no....and it hurts.</i></b><br />
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That day will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life...The day I held my precious son, a sacred gift given and taken from us to early. A flood of emotions that day when we came to realize it was the last day we would get to smell his sweet innocence, hear his unique beating heart, sing and whisper love to him, pray over him, to have hope that he would get better, a day where we realized we would fight for his body no longer and not because we had given up, but because it was in Gods will for his life. <br />
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Floods of emotions as I held him and his life faded through my fingers. Feelings of anger, deep unexplained sorrow, peace, relief, then it would cycle all over again. He was gone to quickly, I was not prepared to say my goodbyes that day, I was not ready to give him back to the God, I JUST GOT HIM. I remember how hard I fought to get him here and now I have to give him back to you God! Why?! <br />
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But He knew what He was doing that day, when He aligned everything just the way He intended. Only He could orchestrate such a perfect crowd of hand selected Doctors, Nurses, Family, only He could ensure our support system was there the moment we stepped out of that final meeting with fear and sadness in our hearts, only He knew that day we wouldn't dedicate him in the comfort of our church like we did with his sisters but in the comfort of my arms, intimate and safe. Only He knew that there would be no one in that last pod they used as storage so that we could be together as a family to say goodbye to him, to say a family prayer over him, only He knew He would paint the most beautiful rainbow after Bennett passed but that I wouldn't come to knowledge of it until months after, only He knows whats best for me, Only He knows the depths of my soul, Only He can love me with such a passion.<br />
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I recognize myself most day and there are days where I don't know who I am, I see myself from the outside, lost, my soul sometimes dry and empty, humor that masks my pain but somehow brings peace and clarity. Days where I wish I could stay in that dream of him and I just a little longer, where it would feel real because honestly, nothing is. My life changed a year ago...trauma. God rocked my soul, comforted me, and showed me his sovereignty. In the midst of my humanness I feel God meet me here, I feel him gently (in only the way he can) comfort me still allowing me to feel, cry, laugh, be mad, then be grateful. <br />
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The most painful part is the unknown and curiosity of
what Bennett would be doing now. What our family would look like with
him. Would I be working with him on eating or would he need a g-tube? Would he be reaching milestones when the doctors swore he wouldn't? But on the other side, I am blessed to be able to still be apart of
the lives of Bennett's brothers and sisters of his syndromes and I get
to see the beauty and innocence of those amazing children. Just thinking
about them moves me to tears. I thank God for those relationships, connections. <br />
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A few months back I was reading the bible and after snapping out of whatever trance I was in, I look down to see a figure of me walking and God is gently holding my shoulders as He was leading me down a rocky path with Him. I am thankful for that God moment because it was then that He revealed to me that I was never walking on a path to Him but WITH him. That whatever circumstances in life happen, He created them for me and He was never doing anything to me. A picture of his sovereignty.<br />
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This year has been one heck of a journey. Good days filled with a lot of bad but here I am, still so in love and sold out for God. For his peace and love and most of all His
understanding. I love that He loves me the way I am and meets me where I
am at. He does not try to change me because He created me wholly in His
image. I am alive because He loved me enough to give His life so that I
could have eternal life with Him because of the cross and because of His sacrifice. So I can continue to have hope during
times where it feels hopeless. That He is NEVER on the other side of my pain and I need to to reach him to find healing yet He is right next to me guiding me, healing me, if only I choose to trust him in the good, bad and ugly.<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>My sweet Bennett,<br /><br />Not a day goes by where I don't wish you and I could be back in that place with just us two, in Gods peace with no fear of the future because we were together and you were safe. My heart is missing a beat, its where yours was. I know you are being well cared for until I can hold you again. Until I can kiss you again. Nothing makes my selfish heart more happy that you are no longer in pain, that you are complete and happy. I just wish all of those things were with me, daddy and your sissy's. I love you my strong innocent boy. Thank you for holding on as you could so we could be together if even just for a moment. <br /><br />I love you son, Always and forever I will carry you. <br /><br />Mama</i></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-large;">~Special Thank You's</span>~</i></div>
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<i>-A BIG thank you to Beth Stafford Photography for being apart of our day and coming to capture those moments. I cant thank you enough for all you have done for us throughout our journey! You have a heart of gold and I am grateful to call you friend!</i></div>
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<i>-To my husband, I love you more than I could ever express or show you. You have been a rock in the hard times, and you keep us moving forward each day, our motivation to continue our crazy days. </i></div>
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<i>-To our families, Thank you for being apart of our celebration weekend in memory of Bennett, it was a time for us all to gather, to relax and just be together, as we were that day when we said our final goodbyes to Bennett. We made memories, and no matter what happens in life, I am so blessed to have each and every one of you apart of my life. </i></div>
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<i>-To my faithful friends old and new, Thank you for being there for me whenever I need you. Whether to laugh or cry. If it is for late night adventures when my body and brain refuse to shut down, thank you!</i></div>
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and last but not least, to YOU (reading this)....</div>
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<i><b><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Thank
you for taking this journey with me. I hope that through Bennett's
life you can remember how sweet it is. How short it is. That you can
restore your faith in God if it has been lost. That you remember
that you can face any storm, ANY CIRCUMSTANCE big or small if you have
God in your heart, that all
of your hope is in Him. I pray that no one is having to mourn a loss of
their child alone and without a faith in a God that will reunite you two
together someday. If that is you, please reach out to me and I will
pray with you and encourage you just as the Lord has encouraged me. This
road traveled is different for everyone and I want everyone to know
there is no "right or wrong way" to mourn and grieve. The most important
thing to remember is God is sovereign, He is with you and He is for
you, seek Him with all your heart and you will find Him.</span></span></b></i><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-54417386025858420682014-01-13T17:02:00.002-08:002014-01-13T17:03:18.531-08:00"There in the sorrow and the dancing"Gods Grace really struck me last night as my husband and I were putting our little's to bed. As we lay their silently to calm them down for the night. I was stroking Brooklynn's hair and thanking God for all of these pieces of my heart together in one room and missing our son which is an unspoken every second moment. We always play worship music for them to sleep to, only fitting in this house considering how much we love music and what a big roll it has played in our lives and more fitting in this last year. Matt Redman's "Your Grace finds me" comes on and I silently start to cry. Every word of this song is anointed with truth about Gods Grace and it served in this moment as a reminder of the physically absence of our boy. <br />
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It's there in the newborn cry<br />
It's there in the light of every sunrise<br />
It's there in the shadows of this light<br />
Your great grace</div>
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It's there on the mountaintop<br />
It's there in the everyday and the mundane<br />
There in the sorrow and the dancing<br />
Your great grace<br />
Oh, such grace</div>
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From the creation to the cross<br />
Then from the cross into eternity<br />
Your grace finds me<br />
Yes, Your grace finds me</div>
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It's there on a wedding day<br />
There in the weeping by the graveside<br />
There in the very breath we breathe<br />
Your great grace</div>
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Same for the rich and poor<br />
Same for the saint and for the sinner<br />
Enough for this whole wide world<br />
Your great grace<br />
Oh, such grace</div>
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From the creation to the cross<br />
Then from the cross into eternity<br />
Your grace finds me<br />
Yes, Your grace finds me</div>
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There in the darkest night of the soul<br />
There in the sweetest songs of victory<br />
Your grace finds me<br />
Yes, Your grace finds me</div>
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Your great grace<br />
Oh, such grace<br />
Your great grace<br />
Oh, such grace</div>
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So I'm breathing in Your grace<br />
And I'm breathing out Your praise<br />
I'm breathing in Your grace<br />
Forever I'll be<br />
Breathing in Your grace<br />
And I'm breathing out Your praise<br />
I'm breathing in Your grace<br />
And I'm breathing out Your praise<br />
Breathing in Your grace<br />
For our God, for our God</div>
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Yes, Your grace finds me<br />
Yes, Your grace finds me</div>
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Everyday is a battle after the loss of something so precious in life. Yes I smile, Yes I laugh, Yes I cry, Yes I get sad. Its all apart of moving forward when you lost a piece of your heart along the way. I do get numb and have to remind myself in that second to "choose joy". People often ask "How I do it", I don't. I don't have a magic pill that I take each morning that magically makes my life easier...wouldn't that be the answer to all of life's hurts. The answer is No, as convenient as it sounds. In loss, you have to go through the highs and lows and the daily lessons and reminders. You don't get to forget, I don't get to pretend that when I get out of the shower each day that I don't see my c-section scar starring back at me that reminds me of the emptiness it brings. I don't get to hold a sweet newborn baby and not forget that I had one of these blessings too. I don't see buttons the same, everywhere I go a button reminds me of his life, a life that I don't get to raise. I cant walk into OHSU and walk the halls and smell that particular smell without having a flashback. <strong>But I do get to do all of these things knowing that Gods Grace is sufficient and in all of these memories, painful or joyful that God is my steadfast and faithful strength.</strong> </div>
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<em>"Don't look to the right or the left, keep your eyes on me. You will not be shaken, you will not be moved" </em></div>
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I cant allow my circumstance to stop me from enjoying the blessings around me. I GET to go and visit a friend with a newborn and CHOOSE JOY in that moment because its not about ME, its about complete happiness for that new exhausted parent. I GET to visit my nicu mamas that walked my journey and only have complete and udder joy for them when I hold their miracles, I GET to laugh, I GET to feel, I CHOOSE to live life after loss. </div>
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<em>"I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born"</em></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-49545161418924803722013-07-28T23:26:00.001-07:002013-07-28T23:26:20.493-07:00Gifts from an obedient heart. This is just one of the many blessings that have come since Bennett's passing, but one that rocked me to the core and I wanted to share it with everyone because from the beginning of our journey we have been an open book and I want to continue because I believe God has called me to be during this time...I will share below. :)<div><br />
</div><div>A few weeks ago on a night like most have been since Bennett's passing, after my husband and kids are sleeping. I cried, and looked at pictures of Bennett and I on our last day together. It is always emotional but sometimes its hard to process life and our circumstances until I lay my head on the pillow at night and allow my body and mind to rest from the hustle and bustle of the day to grieve. So I did that. The day was no different than any other but I was just feeling a little empty, my arms empty. I know His spirit is with me always, that He loves me, His strength is present and His grace is sufficient but this night I needed something tangible. I know God knows my heart and knows everything I need but sometimes I need to speak it with my mouth. so on that night, with all sincerity in my heart, in brokenness asked the Lord to show me a sign that he cares for me and that He was still by my side. Told him that I know that this journey had a purpose and I understood that but I needed to just be human for a min and attempt rationalize something that couldn't be rationalized. Because his ways are not mine. I didn't ask why? I just asked for something, to ask if He loved me and if He was still listening. It was a rough night to say the least. I will admit waking the next morning that I felt a little ridiculous, like a drama queen asking the Lord this. Who am I? But I did feel a weight lifted by confessing my sincere feelings to God and was ready to start the day choosing Joy despite our new found circumstances. </div><div><br />
</div><div>At church that Sunday, I had a beautiful young woman by the name of Claudia, who i regretfully do not know well, approached me with two other ladies from the church. She had a beautiful bouquet of white roses...I mean a lot of white roses in a stunning vase. She pulled me aside as nervous as ever. She gathered her thoughts and confessed that she didn't know why she was giving me these roses but she was prompted by the Holy Spirit to do so. It didn't make sense to me at the time either but of course I accepted them with open arms. She had her friend translate for her because her comfort level for praying was in Spanish. Which I happen to understand a little, but not when I am a crying hot mess. haha. As she began to pray over me, it was just a moment of me asking the Lord in his time to reveal to me what these meant and thanking God for her and the gift. After she concluded her prayer, her friend translated to me what Claudia heard from the Lord to me. (AS tears stream down my face at this very moment) the Lord told her that these flowers were for me, a gift, to show me how much He cares for me and how much He loves me. That He understands what I am going through and that He hand picked me for this journey. to be strong. That He knows that it may feel like a long time until I see Bennett again but to keep holding on because it is not. That I am his beloved and he wanted to show me that today through this gift. That He is there for me, that He is my strength and Peace and all I have to do is ask. </div><div><br />
</div><div>I was in shock. In tears and grateful for the gift (but still not comprehending). It wasn't until I walked into the sanctuary and began to pray and worship God that he took me back to my prayer those few nights ago. WOW..... I was in shock. I spoke that prayer in the comfort of my home, while everyone was sleeping and shared it with NO ONE! how was Claudia to know what I prayed? She didn't, but he did! She was obedient to the spirit and look what blessings and confirmation it brought. how much it meant to me. Beyond words, these words still not quite enough.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiib50Osnoq7wGeoK1F4eTd3O0U7PGOPVEpkqOlokQn99PSiiNTkHikh2J23lzRS41l-wgEoEh75eXM2BOeZegkHlG8C35CGF_zhU-BbBtX6bnTuQy0jEXlUvUdDMK8dOJsDb7moyITj5I3/s1600/IMG_1023.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiib50Osnoq7wGeoK1F4eTd3O0U7PGOPVEpkqOlokQn99PSiiNTkHikh2J23lzRS41l-wgEoEh75eXM2BOeZegkHlG8C35CGF_zhU-BbBtX6bnTuQy0jEXlUvUdDMK8dOJsDb7moyITj5I3/s320/IMG_1023.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5lXh1oiQPZXdzmRhPSuTFuHWNehfGFw8BNL5ElbIyDxdOPkW3bxROS5hQPdJvAwicJz-H6Q8wPKc6kEslbjl8RwiwN0Ooqw0Jhazh1gzsP3-NFFI8kD-ZRWtdmIqoZvTg6BEiJ5f8S3Q-/s1600/IMG_0856.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5lXh1oiQPZXdzmRhPSuTFuHWNehfGFw8BNL5ElbIyDxdOPkW3bxROS5hQPdJvAwicJz-H6Q8wPKc6kEslbjl8RwiwN0Ooqw0Jhazh1gzsP3-NFFI8kD-ZRWtdmIqoZvTg6BEiJ5f8S3Q-/s320/IMG_0856.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div>I am grateful for this gift from God, this confirmation. Although signs are all around, I do not feel as though I was testing the Lord because he can not tested, I firmly believe he knows my heart and cares for me. I understand that as I walk further and deeper in my walk that I will not always get these STOP signs if you will. But he knew what I needed in that moment when my soul needed filling. I urge you to follow through if the Spirit is prompting you to do something, with a lot of prayer beforehand because although It may sound absolutely ridiculous, you never know what it will mean to the person the spirit is asking you to give it to. It may just be prayer, or it may just be a word of encouragement or a physical gift. Blessings.</div><div><br />
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</div><div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-40243644993657649782013-06-08T10:55:00.001-07:002013-06-08T10:55:30.052-07:00Rivers of living water will flow from his heart...Its taken me some time to be prepared to get to the point where I am prepared to share our last moments with our sweet Bennett. To wrap my mind around everything that has happened over the last 3 weeks, to listen to God and ask that my words be His words and I share exactly what needs to be shared. Its quite peaceful in the night silence and I am ready to share what is on my heart. This is a rough post because this has been a key instrument in our journey with Bennett and now that he is dancing with my Jesus, I find it so tough to think this could be my last post.<br />
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After months of Bennett fighting all odds, from highs to lows. May 16th at 3:40pm our Bennett went to be with Jesus while lying in my arms, with the whispers of me and my husband pouring our hearts, love and prayers into his ears.<br />
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That day is one I will remember the rest of my days. Chari and I fully prepared to enter the care conference to tell them they were to do EVERYTHING possible to help our son, only to realize that they had, that they were and that their "everything" was not enough. To be made aware we had no other options, that our road was not life. I remember at one point during the meeting I couldn't hear their voices any longer and I heard God asking me "how far are you willing to go to trust me? are you willing to accept that this is my plan for his life?". Tears. I remember telling myself that I just wanted to hold him and be with him and love on him. So after lots of prayer that is exactly what we did. There were so many tears involved and so many questions asked but so much peace at the same time. The peace that only God gives. Our pastor and his wife were there with us that day and they were able to be with us and pray over us with bennett and most importantly, dedicate him back to God.<br />
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Our sons heart condition went from best case scenario to worst case scenario and there was nothing that could be done. A cardiologist stated that an average baby born with his heart condition would not have survived birth. So I know that It is a miracle that God gave me Bennett for 56 days and I choose to be GRATEFUL for every second of them. He wanted to fight but his heart and body wouldn't let him. As a mother, its the most excruciating thing to see. We didn't understand it until that day, until he looked into my eyes before passing telling me without words that I could let him go and he loved me. I got to be a mom to Bennett for that time and that is a blessing. Far to many mothers get none. Thank you God for that.<br />
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He was a fighter, such a beautiful and incredibly life saving angel from our God and my heart hurts that he is not here. What I would give to be holding him again, singing to him and caring for him. I know I will do this again, with strong belief in my heart I know this.<br />
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We never pictured this journey for our lives. Its always something you read about and pray for other families but never imagine for yourself. who would? But let me tell you, God has done some amazing work in my life through Bennett. He was my angel in more ways than one. Through Bennett God taught me to LIVE again, to be grateful, to Love deeper, to trust harder and to have faith even when the path ahead was too dark to see. I have grown up in the church and "thought"I knew God but there comes a point in I believe every ones faith journey where you wonder if God is there, if he is real, and If he even cares about you. I can say today that I no longer "think I know God". I DO KNOW GOD and I can promise without any doubts in my whole body that He IS THERE, HE IS REAL, PRESENT and HE CARES SO MUCH. It took me fully trusting him, laying my life expectations in his hands, and putting all faith in him to realize it and I only wish that I had started sooner. (better late than never )<br />
One time since Bennett's passing have I questioned God asking him "WHY? WHY BENNETT, WHY US?" and he took me back to the day where we found out what was going on in the pregnancy, where we knew we were not to abort him but to continue the pregnancy, and I asked God to Please use us for His Glory, use Bennett for His Glory. and it was then that I realized, that we did not get the outcome we expected but we got the outcome that God panned, the outcome that he designed for our lives. My son touched peoples lives WITHOUT words. He could speak to people without words and that is because God was living in him and pouring out his love through him. How blessed I am to be a mother to such an amazing son, How undeserving I felt that God cared so much for me that he gave me Bennett, one of his angels. I was hand picked for this journey. In awe of His love for me.<br />
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I knew Bennett's life touched many, but could not quite understand how much until his passing and all the Love and support that has been out poured over this household. I have no words but thank you! Thank you so much and may God bless you as you have all blessed us.<br />
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Moving forward has been rough but I still am surrounded by angel armies giving me peace, love, and joy. I am not angry with God, I choose to see that he gave me days with Bennett when I might have had none. We will always feel like something is missing. I will always feel a sense of emptiness, but I do know that in return, God will fill and consume the deepest places of my soul with him. The enemy is out to deceive, kill and destroy and we must constantly be prepared to throw Gods counteroffers when he attempts to plant his seeds. I KNOW that we did everything there was to do for Bennett and we will not believe anything other than this. We have NO regrets. God numbered my sons days, not man.<br />
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We don't know where we will go from here but we do know that as we have in this last year will keep our eyes on our savior. I have and will have my moments of sadness which is okay, but God has been flooding my mind with the good memories of Bennett and teaching me to focus on the good I had with him rather than the fact that he is not still here. He is here in spirit and I will forever hold him in my heart and as I have shared before, believing that when I meet Bennett again, it will feel as if he never left them.<br />
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I have 3 children. 2 girls and 1 sweet, perfect, innocent and COMPLETE angel boy.<br />
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A MESSAGE FROM THE AMAZING FAMILY AND FRIENDS HELPING WITH A FUNDRAISER: The Benefit in Memory of Bennett will be held on June 14th 6-9pm: Spaghetti Dinner with silent auction tables, bake sale tables and other fundraising ideas. If you have anything to donate to the silent auction table please drop them off at either with Janice Webb At Webb Chiropractic or Kelly Long Howard at Long Bros. Lumber. Email me that you have done so please. If you have baked goods you would like to make please bring them by the Foursquare Church the night before the event or day of but please let me know so I have a price sheet ready to go for you, and space for them. There will be a car wash the next day still working on details but if you can donate your time to wash cars that would be great. email me at cindivetter@gmail.com. Share to get the word out for the event to help the Puente family in honoring the memory of Bennett and helping with their medical costs and additional expenses. You can also donate funds at any US Bank in the name of Bennett Timothy James Puente. The family and Rick Puente and I appreciate all your help. If you have any questions please call me at 503-984-3825 or email Rick at rick.puente@gmail.com<br />
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Thank you all for taking this jouney with us. I fully believe Bennett's journey will never be over, he will still be touching lives far after.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-45675869470077210892013-04-23T16:47:00.004-07:002013-04-23T16:56:55.087-07:00Bennett's first month on the outside! A few days late but wanted to try and do a quick update on how our sweet bennett has done on his first month "on the outside" (when he should be in).<br />
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He has come from he may not survive after birth, to thriving, from he will most likely need to be int abated to breathing on his own with VERY LITTLE HELP, From heart conditions to we cant find any concern in this area. and so many more little areas along the way.<br />
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Professionals-0 God-to many to count!<br />
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Besides thus far beating all the odds that have been against him. Today he is growing wonderfully. Yesterday he weighed in at 2lbs 8.7oz. He is still needing a little bit of O's (oxygen-about 21-25%) and still has tachycardia. The Dr's feel it all wraps around his small size, he may be a 38 week baby but his lungs are still small so growth is very important. He "nippled" from a bottle 4 ml's yesterday which is great! Practice makes perfect, sometime this week the speech therapist will see him and I will let you all know how that went. My main focus is for him to learn to suck and we will continually practice nursing but I'm not pushing it yet. The poor boy is underdeveloped and not even suppose to be out yet. :)<br />
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So overall I believe our son is doing great. He has some amazing nurses round the clock that just adore him which makes it a little easier for me to leave him there. I am getting the hang of the rounds and am happy that I can walk in the NICU and really understand and assist his nurses with his care. Especially to give the nurses a little break to catch up on charting. :)<br />
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Bennett has such a beautiful spirit, which i know is the Lord in him. Ministering even now to everyone who works with him, even to chari and I. The connection the lord has allowed me to form with bennett in this short time is much more than a mother-son relationship....its so much more. One that I cant explain. Our life will never be the same, our life changed in January when we started attending OHSU and then even more so the moment Bennett came. But I can tell you that I am so happy it did. I feel like the lord is giving me a second chance with life, the way I perceive it, a reminder of why we are here in the first place. God has taught me a deep gratefulness for our girls, our crazy life, what we have rather than what we don't. He has helped me understand that bennett is a precious and special gift, from the moment he was formed in me!! no matter how many times professionals give us their "diagnosis", no matter how hard it gets, I am to keep pressing on without allowing it to phase me. I am not to question god why?, I am to faithfully trust this process. Chari and I have been chosen by God to have Bennett and His WILL be done in and through his life and I can trust that because it is for a hope and future.<br />
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God has not given us an ordinary blessing but an extraordinary miracle.<br />
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Prayer requests, his growth is always a must but really ask for extra prayers in the breathing and eating department. That is really what needs to improve before he can come home. He holds his temperature wonderfully, but he needs to be eating by bottle or breast and breathing on his own with no cannula. So please help us pray in those areas. We so appreciate it<br />
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Here are some photos of the last few weeks. :)<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-10805380919152510892013-04-10T17:25:00.001-07:002013-04-10T18:08:45.166-07:00We looovee fat!Here we are week 3 on our journey in the NICU. <br />
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(Since friday the 5th) As some of you know Bennett is off his IV's and up to full feeds and tolerating it well! :) they have fortified it with extra calories and you are really starting to see some weight gain. It will never be acceptable to say "you need to get fat", or "I love that your getting fat and filling out" other than here in the NICU. Bennett, Benny, BT, TJ, BP, lil man or whatever you like to call him is almost 2lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1lb 15oz or 880grams!!! He has pooped alot today (he's a puente) so we think he will hit that mark by tomorrow or Friday!! (I will throw a mini party because its a BIG DEAL!) The nurses also tried feeding him by mouth yesterday (tuesday) and he took 3ml's which isn't a lot out of his 16ml's but good! The nipple was just so large for his mouth. Feeling grateful, blessed and amazed by this little guy! He's such a fighter. <br />
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Today he has been on and off his nasal cannula. So we are praying that over time, he will be fine without it. :) so far, he has been doing well and needed it at one point when I was holding him today. We couldn't be more thankful for this.<br />
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I'm amazed although I shouldn't be by Gods grace, peace, joy through this journey. We are starting to adapt to this "new norm" although we know it won't last forever. We had to transition into this time and in the same note will have to transition out when the time comes. I'm getting more familiar with how things are run and I'm sure soon will be able to do this job in my sleep! ;) jk. ( This is a tough position and pray over the medical staff daily, they are amazing.) <br />
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Gods given me this time to allow His work in my life on all levels. He's taught me through spending time here what's really important in life, he's allowed this time to look at my priorities, he's taught me to be grateful because although our situation is hard, someone has it worse and to be thankful for our version of "hard". He's taught me a deeper appreciation, love and compassion for the families of the NICU, he has brought me a passion of prayer for this field and for these people I encounter daily. And for all this I am humbled and blessed. <br />
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We really can't thank everyone enough who have stepped up to help his financially, spiritually, with meals and overall support. Continued prayers are always appreciated for all these areas below. His heart condition is not a current issue and just prayer it wont be. :) Please pray for development all around. Hearing, eyesight, weight gain, breathing. All of these things that come so naturally to a full term baby but come slower for him. Although he has continued to amaze and capture the hearts of doctors and nurses, prayers for these areas are always appreciated. :) <br />
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Here are some pics of the last few days and one from today!!! Happy 3 week birthday little man!! <br />
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This has been such a journey these last few weeks and months, but let me tell you, one I wouldn't take back. I have learned so much, built lifelong relationships and have gained so much empathy for other parents in my situation. I can walk past each pod in the NICU and smile at the other parents who I have never met because we are connected in a way that many will never understand. I can walk past these pods and pray heavily over these children's life, over their families and medical staff. I can talk and bond with mothers and offer my prayers and a listening ear to vent their fears, frustrations and experiences. And for all of this, just feel extremely honored, humbled and blessed.<br />
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Bennett is doing amazingly well. There wasn't much of a change lately but he is back on the high flow and seems to be doing a lot better breathing after the blood transfusion. (By the way that went well. I posted that on my facebook but always forget to put that here. sooo sorry)<br />
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Today I had my 2 week postpartum visit with the Dr. and all went well, incision healing nicely and they were surprised to hear I haven't taken pain meds since leaving the hospital (I just didn't see the point when my body was rejecting the medication anyway and not providing much relief). I am back to driving and will very slowly start to lift again. I am actually quite sad to be closing the chapter with the Fetal Therapy Program. All the staff have been so amazing and my husband and I will just down right miss them! Although, they wont get rid of us that easily. We send them updates and pictures often. :) We don't know how to thank them other than to continually pray over them in their professions, and over the people they encounter on a daily basis.<br />
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Ready for a SERIOUS SERIOUS praise report my friends????!!! ready? ok....<br />
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When visiting Bennett today and during kangaroo time, one of the neonatologist came bedside with me to discuss some news they received. She went on to tell me that the cardiologist preformed and echo today, the results revealed that his ductus has closed...AND THAT THERE HAS BEEN NO AFFECT OR NARROWING TO HIS AORTIC VALVE IN THE PROCESS!!!!! God is soooooooooo good to us. I just started thanking God and praising him with the Dr. right there!! This was such good news and I was just overwhelmed with happiness! I asked her if there was a chance that it could narrow over time and she told me that wouldn't be an issue, if the narrowing were to happen it would have already. She told me that the cardiologist are going to really back off at this point and preform an echo a month from now to still monitor his bicuspid valve but are overall extremely pleased with these results. They will no longer have to constantly monitor his blood pressures and can remove one of the pulse ox.<br />
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Ready for more great news....<br />
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She also mentioned that Bennett is almost up to full feeds and tolerating it well which means if he maintains (14 ml's) well (which they foresee), they will be removing his PICC (IV) in a few days and beginning to fortify my milk for his feedings!!!! :) They wont start trying to get him to feed by mouth until he has gained some weight. He cant afford any weight at the moment and needs to be continually gaining. Feeding by mouth (nursing or bottle) burns calories becuase its so much work for premies so we will eventually meet with a speech therapist who will gradually introduce him and me to the process when we all feel comfortable. At this point, we need to take one milestone at a time and I must be patient. I think I can do that. ;)<br />
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So at this point, with his heart concerns mostly behind us, we are focusing on his weight gain and getting some fat on his bones to keep him warm. we take one step at a time and at this point, we are all just so thrilled by the above news and feel thankful and blessed!<br />
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I really cant thank all of your for your continued prayers for our family. We ask for continued prayers as we meet each goal and Bennett continues to amaze us all! Through Bennett God has taught us so much about this life and we are forever grateful. I really cant stress this enough!<br />
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Below are song lyrics for Forever Reign by Hillsong. this song has been stuck in my head over the past few days. I hope it is as inspiring to you as it has been to me.<br />
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<div id="lyrics-body" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 30px; margin-left: 35px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 10px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="line line-s" id="line_1" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You are good, You are good</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_2" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">When there's nothing good in me</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_3" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">You are love, You are love</span></span><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_4" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-clip: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">On display for all to see</span></span><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_5" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-clip: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">You are light, You are light</span></span><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_6" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-clip: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">When the darkness closes in</span></span><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_7" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-clip: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">You are hope, You are hope</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_8" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">You have covered all my sin</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div><span class="line line-s" id="line_9" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You are peace, You are peace</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_10" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">When my fear is crippling</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_11" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You are true, You are true</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_12" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Even in my wandering</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_13" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You are joy, You are joy</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_14" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You're the reason that I sing</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_15" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You are life, You are life,</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_16" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">In You death has lost its sting</span></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div><span class="line line-s" id="line_17" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Oh, I'm running to Your arms,</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_18" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I'm running to Your arms</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_19" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The riches of Your love</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_20" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Will always be enough</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_21" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Nothing compares to Your embrace</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_22" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Light of the world forever reign</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_23" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_24" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You are more, You are more</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_25" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Than my words will ever say</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_26" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You are Lord, You are Lord</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_27" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">All creation will proclaim</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_28" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You are here, You are here</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_29" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">In Your presence I'm made whole</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_30" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You are God, You are God</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_31" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Of all else I'm letting go</span></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div><span class="line line-s" id="line_32" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Oh, I'm running to Your arms</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_33" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I'm running to Your arms</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_34" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The riches of Your love</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_35" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Will always be enough</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_36" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Nothing compares to Your embrace</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_37" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Light of the world forever reign</span></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div><span class="line line-s" id="line_38" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">My heart will sing</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_39" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">no other Name</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_40" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Jesus, Jesus</span></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div><span class="line line-s" id="line_41" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Oh, I'm running to Your arms</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_42" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I'm running to Your arms</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_43" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The riches of Your love</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_44" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Will always be enough</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_45" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Nothing compares to Your embrace</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_46" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Light of the world forever reign</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_46" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_46" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_46" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_46" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">(Here is me and our 2 week old miracle)</span></span><span class="line line-s" id="line_46" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7uHebS3zdEi7NmBHW_SwzkKY-rln7qH7OMFeYUN3OVqggusq0UDoUgTfTe5lGQ0k2SucYzAqOruWeGCQ0p6t82WxKXqKrxfpDQC9ISt1SKoKws8FClR8uCRAsVc47T-0Ip48ciuIo7pQT/s1600/2+week+bennett.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7uHebS3zdEi7NmBHW_SwzkKY-rln7qH7OMFeYUN3OVqggusq0UDoUgTfTe5lGQ0k2SucYzAqOruWeGCQ0p6t82WxKXqKrxfpDQC9ISt1SKoKws8FClR8uCRAsVc47T-0Ip48ciuIo7pQT/s320/2+week+bennett.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="line line-s" id="line_46" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-18280054758306581692013-03-28T00:29:00.001-07:002013-03-28T00:32:21.923-07:00Blessed...Sorry there hasn't been much of an update, its because things haven't changed much.<br />
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Late Monday night an x-ray revealed fluid in his lungs so they took blood and sent it to the lab to check for infection but started him on antibiotics right away. They rule out infection if bacteria hasn't grown within 48 hours usually and will stop antibiotics. Today my nurse advised me they are stopping antibiotics tonight and they believe that the fluid is not an infection because he has no other clinical symptoms of it being so. They think that the fluid is related to his lungs need for extra oxygen support and put him back on the CPap, although still breathing on his own and room air. Just needs a little extra help keeping his lungs from collapsing. Its very common for babies prematurely but more so his size. I will certainly thank the lord for the Cpap and take that over the breathing tube! :) I know with time that he will not need the cpap but for now am grateful for it. Continued prayers in this area would be greatly appreciated.<br />
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In my last post I touched on the PICC line they need to insert as the umbilical line is coming up to its expiration. Today when we arrived, the nurse informed us they would be trying for the line again shortly (they had tried one time before and were unsuccessful after much searching and attempting) so we headed down to the cafeteria to eat and wait for them to be done. I prayed over the staff preforming the line and the procedure. After about 3 hours of searching and attempting again, they were unsuccessful. They explained that his skin is tough and every time they would get through the skin the vein would move and they weren't able to get it, so tomorrow they will be making an incision in his skin which will make it easier to locate the vein for insertion. Please pray with me that tomorrow's procedure is successful and quick. Third times the charm right! :) Please pray over all the staff preforming it as well, although they do this everyday, it has to be difficult to attempt 2x and be unsuccessful. I just pray tomorrow is successful and its in the lords will.<br />
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Bennett has been doing well with the diuretic and is tolerating his feeding really well. So they have upped him to 3ml's every 3 hours. :) mama is happy about this. My milk has come in, obv not as much as maybe it would be if bennett was with me all the time but I need to give my body some credit. I had my son, 6 weeks early and not the "natural way". Its going to take some time for my body to catch up.<br />
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No news on his ductus closing yet, that takes time. We ask for continued prayers in this area as this is one of the biggest concerns at the time. We are praying that when the ductus closes is causing NO NARROWING OF HIS VALVE and he is able to continue to grow and not require surgery!!!<br />
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I just have to shout from the rooftops that I just adored our staff & nurse today. All of our nurses have been wonderful but the nurse today just made me feel at home. I am still learning the In's and outs of the NICU and still learning that I am Bennett's advocate and I have a say in what goes on (although I haven't needed exercise this at all). When it comes to holding him (especially today after 3 hours of the procedure), I would do it every second but am hesitant at times because I'm adapting to my new normal of holding a 1.5 lb baby as opposed to a 7lb, not wanting to get him upset or overly tired and burn calories he cant afford, ect. My nurse today suggested Kangaroo Care without me mentioning it and got everything ready and was just so accommodating to me. It made me feel important, like I was just as apart of his care as his IVs were. :) So overall, even though it was heartbreaking to see my little man go through this procedure two times, my love tank was full from a good chunk of bonding. Resting on mommy to soothe him after his rough time.<br />
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Blessed...why? Not because everything is going our way, not because things have improved drastically overnight, not because our life has been easy these last few months. We are blessed because despite all the circumstances, God remains faithful, constant, unchanging, amazing, near, worthy. In times like these, you make a choice to find the good in it or crawl in a hole. And we choose to find the good in it, to understand the meaning of it and if we cant understand, have peace knowing that its OK if we don't. God has shown us miracles through Bennett, god has used our story and his life so far to touch many, to be a witness, How aren't we blessed?<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-26472654418567726362013-03-25T21:58:00.001-07:002013-03-25T21:58:55.641-07:0010,000 ReasonsHere we are, Day 2 being home. Its been such a transition, and I have to admit an emotional one. Darn those raging hormones. ;) Overall, my tears have been of thankfulness, awe of God's greatness, mercy, love and there have been times of sadness. The enemy wants to instill fear into my heart and I wont allow it. Fear is not of my God. Where would I be without my savior?<br />
<br />
I realized that I was so drugged that I didn't update you with where there concerns are with his heart condition. As we know, Bennett has an aortic stenosis. They found a little more information that would reveal he has a bicuspid aortic valve (he has two leaflets instead of three). The cardiologist doesn't feel that this will cause an issue until much later in life where he would need surgery. Their more main concern at the moment is his aortic valve but the only way they can really know anything for sure is with time. We wait to see when his ductus closes to see if that will cause narrowing in the valve. If it does cause narrowing, he would need surgery and would not survive being so small, so they would give him a medicine to make him think he was still in utero, then reopening the ductus and wait until he is big enough to survive a surgery. So at this point they have him under alot of monitoring. He gets his blood pressure checked on both arms and legs 2x a day to make sure there are no changes as the ductus starts to close. So at this point, like much of his journey we wait and see. :)<br />
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Today, our sweet bennett is doing good. When we arrived for our visit she mentioned last night he required a little more oxygen then he has since birth, but not alot. They wanted to get to the bottom of why the change, so they ordered an echo to be done to make sure that his valve is not narrowing. They also wanted to rule out infection but she mentioned that he is not showing any signs of infection so they don't feel that is the issue.<br />
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The echo was preformed today when we arrived and the tech could not reveal much but said the ductus wasn't closed yet so we have to wait for the cardiologist to let us know if anything else was found during the exam. After the echo the nurse mentioned that he needs a PICC line (an IV) because his umbilical line has an expiration date to avoid infection, she told me they would be putting that in today and I could call at 6:00 to see how it went.<br />
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I called back around 6 and they mentioned that after we left today, he needed additional (2L) oxygen (he had 1L before) but couldn't say why. She also informed me they attempted the PICC but couldn't get it in just right (in his scalp) so they would be trying it again later tonight possibly if not tomorrow. She was working on getting him calm because he had a pretty eventful day and was just tired. The nurse also mentioned that he needed a diuretic because he had more fluids in his body and wasn't releasing it as quickly as they wanted, they said after the diuretic was given that his oxygen became a little better, not back to what it was but still a positive! So at this point we are just praying that his oxygen goes back to 1L, that there be no infections, no complications with his heart after the ductus closes, and he starts to gain weight and continue to stump the medical team! :)<br />
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We thank you for your prayers and walking this journey with our sweet Bennett. God is so good. I cant even begin to express to you what comfort I have knowing that when I leave the hospital, God is there. That when I feel alone, God is with me. That when I shed a tear, God is catching it. That in this journey, my God loves me and cares for me. That this journey with our son is for a hope and a future and not for harm....10,000 reasons for my heart to find. These lyrics below describe everything perfectly.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;">Standing on this mountaintop<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Looking just how far we’ve come<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Knowing that for every step<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />You were with us<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Kneeling on this battle ground<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Seeing just how much You’ve done<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Knowing every victory<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Was Your power in us<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Scars and struggles on the way<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />But with joy our hearts can say<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Yes, our hearts can say<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Never once did we ever walk alone<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Never once did You leave us on our own<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />You are faithful, God, You are faithful<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Kneeling on this battle ground<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Seeing just how much You’ve done<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Knowing every victory<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Was Your power in us<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Scars and struggles on the way<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />But with joy our hearts can say<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Yes, our hearts can say<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Never once did we ever walk alone<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Never once did You leave us on our own<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />You are faithful, God, You are faithful<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />You are faithful, God, You are faithful<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Scars and struggles on the way<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />But with joy our hearts can say<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Never once did we ever walk alone<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Carried by Your constant grace<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Held within Your perfect peace<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Never once, no, we never walk alone<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Never once did we ever walk alone<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Never once did You leave us on our own<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />You are faithful, God, You are faithful<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Every step we are breathing in Your grace<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />You are faithful, God, You are faithful<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />You are faithful, God, You are faithful<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />You are faithful, God, You are faithful<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />You are faithful, God, You are faithfu</span></span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-87691383186286124312013-03-23T12:04:00.001-07:002013-03-23T12:12:56.374-07:00Bennett Timothy James Puente<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Skia;">Here is the quick story of his birth and updates until now! :)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Skia;">Right before they took me back for my somewhat scheduled c-section, my
family was sitting in the room and I looked out the window and there was a
beautiful rainbow. Yet another reminder to chari and I of God's promises. It’s
exactly what we needed to make it through the scary time, the Peace we needed.
God is caring for us. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Skia;">When we came back to the OR, the plan was to go through with an epidural
c-section manly because as they discussed our case, they wanted this to be a
smooth & safe surgery for Bennett and I. They had to be careful not to
lower my blood pressure to much because that could directly effect Bennett and
they didn't want that to happen because that could quickly turn into an emergency
c-section. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Skia;">They inserted the epidural and slowly started to give me the doses until
I could get numb enough for the surgery. It got to the point where I could no
longer have any more doses of the meds but my body was rejecting the medication
and was not numb enough in the areas it needed to be so they decided I would
need to have the spinal after all. That was preformed and it took longer than
normal for it to set in but it did well enough for them to start the surgery.
Chari came back and sat by my head as they started. Within about 10 min or
less, the Anesthesiologist stood and told us that he was almost out. Chari really wanted to see so they allowed him to look. Chari and the Anesthesiologists eyes widened and they started to tear and tell me he was so small. I then heard his little cry and immediately tears of joy started flooding my
face. My sweet miracle was here, alive and crying. They couldn’t show me so Chari
followed the NICU team and he took pictures and brought them back to show me while
they finished up the surgery. The pictures just didn’t do him justice. He is
perfect!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Skia;">When they moved me to the recovery room next to the OR, The issue became
pain management. My spinal started to wear off quicker than they expected and
they didn’t have any pain meds on board at that point so I could feel pretty
much everything. It was an intense feeling, like my insides were melting. Haha.
They were able to pump me with lots of meds that made me extremely drowsy which
wasn’t eventful for the family that was there to see me after my surgery. :)
Before moving me to my room back upstairs, they brought Bennett for me to see
before he went back to the NICU. I got to hold his little hand and talk with
him before being to tired to see straight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Skia;">When I felt better I could come back down to see Bennett but It took me
until really yesterday to feel better and be able to walk around and go see
him, although chari did wheel me down a few times before. I have learned much
about my body in this time but I will spare all the details. ;) My pain is
finally really under control, walking around has helped. The main pain has been
the air that they pumped me with. I just felt it heavy in my shoulders and
chest which made it impossible to lay flat to fall asleep but praising and
thanking god that it is for the most part out of the way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Skia;">Bennett since being in the NICU has done AMAZING! At this time he is only
receiving 1L of oxygen for backup but is breathing in all the air that we do.
He is just an amazing little man! They think that I will be able to hold him today, but we will see if that pans out. They have to be extremely careful because of the connections that he at the moment. He has wiring in his umbilical cord and that cant be moved to much. So I am just waiting to get my skin to skin time with my son. Something most mamas get within minuets of birth! I am just in awe of God's promises when I
look at him. He is a sweet reminder of how much God cares for his children.
Pictures don’t do his small size justice!! It will be a long journey for our
sweet boy BUT we believe in miracles. We are praying growth and health over our
son. That the Lord will use him to abundantly bless every nurse that comes in
contact with him. That the Lord uses him even when he is not awake, that Peace,
Love & Grace surround his isolette.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Skia;">Not that his name needs explanation but there is a lot of meaning behind
his names and want to share. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Skia;">Bennett- (Little Blessed one), Benito is Chari's dads name and Emmett is
my dad's middle name, so combine the two and you have Bennett (with an extra n
because I like to throw those doubles in my kids names, makylee-brooklynn). Our
fathers have been instrumental in our lives and we want to honor them and their
amazing character by gracing our son with a mixture of them. We couldn’t be
happier that his name also has a lot of meaning behind it and something we hold
close to our hearts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Skia;">Timothy- (To Honor God). My uncle Tim passed away and it was a devastating
time in my life and the lives of my family. What I do know is he was an amazing
man! Loving, Kind, giving and all the qualities that I want my Bennett to
have. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Skia;">James (to supplant) was Jesus’ brother, He took up his ministry. I did a
study over a year ago on James and quickly fell in LOVE with him and what he
teaches us through his word. A strong, faithful servant. I look back now and
understand why the Lord connected me to that study and why it had such impact
on me then. Preparation for now! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Skia;">So there you have it, Bennett Timothy James. Our strong, faithful, kind,
giving, and loving boy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Skia;">I cant thank you all enough for your prayers! Our Bennett is such a
blessings, but we understand that he is not only a blessing to us but to all of
you! The lord has given us gifts of his spirit that we can use to encourage
those around us and is why we choose to share our story! Prayer works, and we
ask that you continue to pray over our son and his health. God is so good.
There is no denying that when you look at Bennett. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Skia;">I will keep you updated on his progress; right now I am just waiting for
my milk to come in so he can start to eat!!! Pray for my liquid gold to flow. Haha.
:) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Skia;">Blessings to all of your households, may the Lord bless you for all the
diligent prayers that you have lifted for our son! </span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-92181729863806531782013-03-20T11:27:00.001-07:002013-03-20T11:27:33.697-07:00God is in control...So after the drs staffed today on my monitoring, they feel it the best and safe way to proceed is to have our c-section today with my husband here and it happening in a controlled environment with all the team prepared for Bennett's grand debut! <br />
<br />
I am excited to meet our son and anxious for surgery all at the same time. I don't know what The Lord has in store after today, but I do know he is Faithful. We leave Bennett's life in his hands and know that all things work together for our good. <br />
<br />
Prayers for my nerves of having a c-section. My first ever real surgery. Pray for everything to go smoothly. Pray over all our dr's working on me and Bennett. Pray over our girls and family at home. Just overall peace and safety. Thank you all. I will update you as soon as I can. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-43864849826634603352013-03-20T09:01:00.001-07:002013-03-20T09:02:27.580-07:00Oh the joys of decels...So, as most of you may know I have to have monitoring multiple times a day, but they moved me to a more comfortable floor for the last week to do so. Where I had more freeness to walk and get up and not be connected 24/7. <br />
<br />
Yesterday during monitoring he had two decelerations in his heart rate within 15 min of each other and then a large acceleration to try and catch up. Basically that tells us that the two decels were a lot for his little body. Given that information, they moved me to labor and delivery for extended monitoring in the morning. I was only hoping to be here overnight at the longest but as monitoring progressed, he started having frequent decels so they tried moving positions when they happened, left, right, back, sit up. That didn't seem to he helping so they gave me oxygen to see if that would help bennett and started an IV fluids so I would not get dehydrated also because I cannot eat when down here just incase they need to do a c-section. The oxygen seemed to help and I went almost 4 hours without a decel so they decided i could finally eat after 12 hours!! A good friend brought me some pizza and even though I felt as if I could eat a horse my small stomach size reminded me differently! ;) after being pregnant with makylee I trained my stomach to eat small meals all day so even to this day I can rarely finish anything, despite my fooling body figure. ;) shortly after eating he dipped into a decel that went pretty low (almost 60's) and 4 people where in the room trying to readjust me and get his heart rate back up. After that last decel I was put back on no food or drink and that's where I have remained. <br />
<br />
Throughout the night he had decels but non that caused them to preform an emergency c-section But the decels are happening more frequent then they want and can never be sure if its him compressing his cord or a true emergency. The doctor just came into review my strip from the night and explained that they probably won't be sending me back upstairs today and ill need to be continually monitored again and they aren't sure for how long. They are stuck in a place where they don't want to wait for his decel patterns to become severe and dip into long patterns where they need to preform a general anethestia but they also don't want to take him out yet either. <br />
<br />
So we wait in the gap of the unknown. Not knowing when our son will be born or if he will be ok. I do rest in the fact that god knows which puts my heart at ease. This threw off my plans for the day as chari was going to bring up the girls to visit and spend the day. But now, being in labor and delivery on constant monitoring really puts a kink in my plans and that is the part that upsets me the most. I miss my girls and I just wanted to spend the day with them and try and make it semi normal. (As normal as one can be in the hospital that is.) I am on constant monitoring with an IV and can only get up to go to the bathroom. It's not the time or the environment I want my girls to be in. So I am praying tonight goes well and I can be moved tomorrow so I can visit my girls ! <br />
<br />
Although tired, hungry, aching in every part of my body from probably the most uncomfortable bed known to man, missing home, missing my husband and girls, missing the normalcy that our "old" life gave I know that God has this all covered and as much as my day is constantly changing, his plan for my life and Bennett isn't. It's constant and He is my constant. He hasn't left my side during this and I know He won't. He has challenged me from the day he asked me the tough question of "How far are you willing to go to trust me?", that is the day my life changed, the day I started living for a different purpose, the day God blessed me with all that I needed to make it to the end of this journey, whatever that may be. <br />
<br />
I end as I always do, Thank you for your prayers, your visits, and encouragement. I can't say enough that God is GOOD. And until your in a circumstance where every being of your life is tested, you may not fully grasp that or be able to say that. But if i can still say that, and all the countless before me tested can say that, cant you? Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com0Oregon Health & Science University 3181 Southwest Sam Jackson Park Road, Portland45.499452 -122.685501tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-84396014353301218852013-03-18T12:53:00.001-07:002013-03-18T12:53:35.858-07:00Week 1It's been a week since I have been admitted to OHSU. :) I am not going crazy yet, although I miss my girls and husband terribly and wish I could be with them daily.<br />
<br />
We had a US this morning that revealed my fluid to still be getting lower. Friday it was 4, sat it was 3.2, Sunday it was 2.9 and today it is 2.8. Has my water broken you may ask? No, he is not producing it is what they are thinking due to his "anomalies". His cord dopplers are high but apparently they have been since Monday which is different info then we received previously however he is still moving as he should and breathing which shows he is not in stress. Which is great. <br />
<br />
We then had our 6 week echo with the cardiologist which revealed that nothing has changed or worsened with his heart condition. The only real way to know if he will need surgery is after he is born and they complete an echo at that time. It is hard with his fluid being low to get all the pictures that need but he is confident with what he did get. The reason his heart condition could need surgery is due to areas of his heart closing after birth (which are suppose to, the opening keep babies alive in utero) and causing his aortic value to narrow, but like I mentioned above, we must wait until they preform the echoes after birth. <br />
<br />
As for his birth, we know I won't go til may but we don't know how soon he will come either. So as it has been, we wait until we get the word that he needs to come out. :) until then, I am admitted and don't have plans on going home anytime soon. <br />
<br />
As always, we appreciate your prayers, encouraging words, thoughts, and visits! It helps make this experience that much more worth it!! I feel thankful and blessed for the strength, grace and peace God has given me and my family. He is ever so present with me daily and we are waiting for his will for Bennett's life to unfold. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-4116672522291034322013-03-15T18:33:00.001-07:002013-03-15T18:33:27.439-07:00Low fluid...Had an US today that revealed my amniotic fluid to have gone down a little more than wed. The dopplers still look good and my monitoring over this week have looked good. The Dr's still feel it not safe to send me home so we will re-evaluate on monday with another ultrasound. :) <br />
<br />
Otherwise all is going great and we are hanging in there. God is still good and I am still thankful to be here! We are taking it one day at a time and just waiting when we will meet our precious son! Xoxo<br />
<br />
Thank you for all your prayers! Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-55522158876709310472013-03-13T19:42:00.001-07:002013-03-13T19:42:21.226-07:00Hospital staySo we are almost at our 4th hour of monitoring and the Dr. came into let me know that so far all looks good, however! She doesn't expect me to be going home anytime soon. She said she would be surprised if they let me go home. They are feeling better now that I have the steroids but waiting on the perfect time to take him and are really just biting time and waiting for what Bennett will show them in the time to come. <br />
<br />
I feel safe being here where I know that Bennett can be monitored but of course I have two precious babes at home and a husband that has to work. THANK GOD FOR MY FAMILY! I am blessed with amazing family, in-laws and friends that are all willing to step up and fill the gap. It's a bittersweet moment but I still have peace! I know God has a plan and I get to wait and see it unfold! He has brought Bennett and my family this far and he will not stop holding us now.<br />
<br />
Prayers for strength and rest For the family stepping up to watch our girls, to my husband for continued peace going back to work and leaving me here with all the unknowns, guidance from God for our amazing team at OHSU, and also for our girls and understanding of this transition for this period of time. <br />
<br />
God is good, ALL THE TIME. Even now, tomorrow and for the days or weeks to come! <br />
<br />
Blessings! XoxoAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-21000810853348542822013-03-13T15:39:00.001-07:002013-03-13T15:39:18.899-07:00And some more monitoring...So we had our follow up US today. The results of the US showed that the dopplers normalized! Praise God. He was showing all the appropriate movement they wanted and was practicing breathing, however, fluid was quite low. And after further review on Mondays US they felt they were overly generous with fluid measurements then. So the doctor suggested we go back down to Labor as Delivery for constant monitoring for another 3 hours to see what that tells them. They assumed that his decelerations were his pattern but they need to make sure it's not in direct correlation with his low fluid. The low amniotic fluid tells them that either Bennett is not producing and releasing fluid as he should Or what they expected, that the placenta is starting to not do its job and keep up with demands. So we will get the monitoring done and then we go from there. :) <br />
<br />
I will keep you all updated. At this time we remain thankful to be here even with all of the moving of floors and monitoring. We are in safe hands, God knows exactly what is going and we will wait to see his plans unfold. <br />
<br />
Thank you all for your continued prayers! We will update you after monitoring to see what they decide to do! <br />
<br />
Blessings! XoxoAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-90473398295463062112013-03-12T11:14:00.001-07:002013-03-12T11:14:32.451-07:00More steriods....maybe less monitoringSo here we are day 2 of monitoring. I have just been given my second dose of steroids. <br />
<br />
All the doctors have made their rounds. A few on shift came this am to let me know that the 24 hour monitoring went well. There were decelerations with his heart rate that would last a min or less and then accelerate again. They mentioned this is nothing serious that would call for an emergency c-section. Bennett otherwise is doing great! lots of movement and nothing concerning at this time. They mentioned they want to monitor a little longer and then move me upstairs to an area with a more comfortable bed where I would not be connected to the monitor. They would send me for monitoring a few times today, so waiting to hear when I can move and hopefully get to walk around and go see babies in the NICU. <br />
<br />
Tomorrow I will have a follow up US with fetal therapy which I believe will tell them whether to let me be discharged or not. Praying that we can go home and continue the pregnancy with monitoring. Although the doctors have expressed their concern of the placenta failing, they don't know when this could happen so we will see how tonight and tomorrow goes! We take it one day at a time. <br />
<br />
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers for us! This is a time of unknowns which The Lord has prepared us for and for that we are extremely blessed and thankful. We feel no fear or anxiety when the doctors come to us to explain worst case scenarios. We feel pure Peace. God is in control and there is no need to worry. He is holding Bennett and i in His hands and He knows our plans. They are to give us a hope and a future. We stand firm in His promises. Although physically tired from little to no sleep. I am emotionally and spiritually rejuvenated! Praise God! Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com0Oregon Health & Science University 3181 Southwest Sam Jackson Park Road, Portland45.498834 -122.685184tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-80166836958326794222013-03-11T12:30:00.001-07:002013-03-11T12:30:11.439-07:00Steroids and monitoring!So we came to OHSU for our 2 week follow up to check bennett's fetal growth, dopplers and preform our non stress test. <br />
<br />
The NST went well. He was showing them all signs of being a happy baby not in stress inside which is great! <br />
<br />
We then went to our ultrasound where we found out he had only grown about 2 ounces in 2 weeks and he is still under 700 grams. (684) everything else seemed to be ok and he scored a 6/8.<br />
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Right after our US we met with Dr. Shaffer where he revealed that his dopplers didn't look so good. The blood flow was high. (Similar to how high blood pressure in an adult would be). High blood flow in his cord reveals resistance telling them that the placenta may be having a hard time keeping up with the demands and it will wear out. They don't know how long that could take place, 2 days maybe slowly over weeks time. So he felt it best to admit me, give me steroids and monitor Him for a few days and see how he is doing. The US also revealed that he is breech so if delivery were to happen, it would be a c-section. I am IV prepped and ready incase worse case senerio happened but so far all looks well<br />
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We are in Labor and Delivery and will wait further instruction. We are aware of all that can take place and as usual, The Lord has given us His amazing peace and strength. We understand our situation and want Bennett to be healthy whether that means inside or outside. Continued prayers for the Lords will at this time. We are once again grateful to our God for our amazing support system at home watching our other two girls! <br />
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I will continue to update while things progress. We will be meeting with the neonatologist and hopefully will have another tour and see a baby! (I pray to see a baby that is, I must mentally prepare myself for the cuteness soon to arrive)<br />
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Abundant blessings to you all! <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-buIm3Aq_eUw7KlNH74V0jcEPMhMTTD8jhV_yf5W5bTXPIsMLT_XPyRbLxiM-zK6ii5Tfp-qTCVztKE1cDnJb-Py31EAMutztgDKPyO8VjCXRJ_ItfABTU6LDNYWCgNoYrQz6xJbeGCHJ/s640/blogger-image--508638413.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-buIm3Aq_eUw7KlNH74V0jcEPMhMTTD8jhV_yf5W5bTXPIsMLT_XPyRbLxiM-zK6ii5Tfp-qTCVztKE1cDnJb-Py31EAMutztgDKPyO8VjCXRJ_ItfABTU6LDNYWCgNoYrQz6xJbeGCHJ/s640/blogger-image--508638413.jpg" /></a></div> <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg08pOO-d08FEYAGc1Th531n_xNLq3SzfrMVADmV4oPFgqV6E70LAKDtRHAyFPdPyZz79qLeFCoQkfL1dP9ol7PBhMOso0VBtZf3I7abPLE-7DDBUqRj7LTkAdfxj2xN6ygj6D7wr1muYhL/s640/blogger-image-2087048081.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg08pOO-d08FEYAGc1Th531n_xNLq3SzfrMVADmV4oPFgqV6E70LAKDtRHAyFPdPyZz79qLeFCoQkfL1dP9ol7PBhMOso0VBtZf3I7abPLE-7DDBUqRj7LTkAdfxj2xN6ygj6D7wr1muYhL/s640/blogger-image-2087048081.jpg" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com2Oregon Health & Science University 3181 Southwest Sam Jackson Park Road, Portland45.498815 -122.685195tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-64689920387485950492013-02-27T14:30:00.000-08:002013-02-27T14:30:02.467-08:00and we wait! So yesterday while at work I got a call about a reminder appt. for today. (we hadn't scheduled one so I was thoroughly confused). We obediently and very quickly scheduled our child care to make our 930am, 11am and 2pm appointments. (Thank you to a flexible work schedule and one AMAZING AUNTIE who just happened to be laid off right before we found out about Bennett and has been at our house for pretty much EVERY appointment to watch our girls! Who knows what we would do without her!)<br />
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We arrived this AM for an ultrasound, fetal monitoring and a meeting with Dr. Shaffer. <br />
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During the US we got to see our sweet Bennett moving around AND most importantly PRACTICE BREATHING! :) We were happy to see this as you can see! The tech mentioned that he did all the things that they wanted him to do at this appointment which essentially meant that his heart rate was great, he was breathing, he was wiggling everywhere, fluid was better, AND his Doppler's remained great. <br />
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We then went to fetal monitoring, got all hooked up and sat and listened to Bennett's heart beat accelerate (which is GREAT) and then slow again, we heard him moving all over which is another plus. (This was suppose to be a 30 min session but were only hooked up for 10 or less) Then Dr. Shaffer and his right hand woman came to meet with us while in monitoring. He said that everything was looking MUCH better today. Bennett got an A+. Thank you Jesus!! I asked him why we were being monitored every few days and he explained that our case is rare, and with that, he wants to make sure hes taking all pre cautions to prepare if/when we need to plan an intervention. He mentioned his low weight gain is really concerning so they want to ensure that nothing happens to him (possible death) in a few days time. We agreed! I have another monitoring on Friday, another appt. on Monday and then continuous monitoring to follow. If at any point in the monitoring Bennett shows distress, Dr. Shaffer will have me admitted and they will start discussing delivery and ill be given steroids. Right now he is also only 650grams which is not good "statistically" for survival with his complications. So we continue to wait to see what Bennett is going to do. :) <br />
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Chari and I agree that this pregnancy is so much more difficult because with any "normal" pregnancy, like with our two children before, you see your Dr. monthly and for the most part are well aware of when you will deliver. Our pregnancy doesn't give us those comforts with his state at this time so we take it one day at a time and are thankful for every sec, min and day that Bennett is still with us! God has a plan for our lives like we have said so many times before. God is good and as always we will CONTINUALLY thank him even during our many 45 min trips to OHSU and the unknown of what will happen when we walk in the door! Its amazing what God will do for you when you turn your life over to him, knowing that he alone has laid out the path for your life and knowing that he thinks of us and cares what we are going through! Thank you God for the peace and strength you have given me and my husband! You amaze me!<br />
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Blessing to you all!!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-32652667570859151382013-02-26T12:14:00.000-08:002013-02-26T12:14:26.598-08:00Still thankful...Hi all, sorry it has been a few weeks but we took a break last week from appointments with the holiday. <br />
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We had our US yesterday and then our meeting with Dr. Shaffer. Bennett has only grown 2 oz in 2 weeks (weighing approx 1 lb 7 oz), his heart rate was lower (which happens so not a huge concern), his Doppler's looked good but he got a 6 out of 8 on his test because he was not preforming practice breathing. I mentioned to him that I felt less movement these last few weeks which is hard to differentiate between Bennett not doing well or just because there is less room for him to grow as we get farther along. Dr. Shaffer still felt that with the low weight gain over the two week period, less fetal movement and the low test score he felt it safe to get a stress-test done that day. He mentioned that worse case scenario is the test doesn't go well and he would hospitalize me and I would be induced. He didn't feel that to be the case but the doctors know little of the syndromes so they want to take all precautions which obviously we are grateful for. <br />
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We completed the stress test and all went well so were able to go home but Dr. Shaffer would like to preform another test this Friday. <br />
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Overall the appointment went well with exception to his surprising weight gain. We continue trusting the lord knowing that his will be done in our lives and our son's and will continue this journey with Gods grace, strength, and a smile on our face. We are thankful at all times!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-78661798280376145982013-02-12T09:30:00.001-08:002013-02-12T09:30:42.024-08:006 ounces!First off, a huge horray for the homecoming of my husband! :) after a week being away from home me and the girls were happy to have him back!!<br />
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Had our US first where it was revealed that bennett has grown 200 grams (6 ounces) since our last appt which is GREAT! :) small leaps. I also had some concerns of clef lip/palate and wanted the radiologist to check and she see if that is something they see. Based of this US and reviewing of last US they don't feel that is something he has which was a relief for me because I know how much more difficult things can become with that and bless the hearts of children and parents that do have that! <br />
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When we met with Dr. Shaffer and our Genetic Counselor we enjoyed our time. Lots of jokes and giggles which was wonderful for all of us. It was a Monday. Enough said! :) <br />
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He went over his weight growth and was very pleased. The dopplers were still great and fluid was great as well. So he feels given this information that we will see him again in 2 weeks. <br />
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Last week we had discussed a vaginal delivery so I wanted to express my worry about that. I told the Dr. my hesitations about going through with that due to the stress that could happen to Bennett during that time. I told him I'm leaning towards a c-section because as a mother, your selfless for your child and the thought of causing any stress to him and further complicating things for our son is disheartening. He eased my fears saying that going through with a vaginal is what he feels is best for me AND bennett. He stated that we have had 2 successful and quick labors and he feels that a vaginal delivery won't do any harm to Bennett but of course he had to give us that warning. He mentioned that at any sign of ANY stress we would talk about the c-section at that time but he is extremely hopeful that this experience will go just as the others. We will start monitoring contractions closely towards the last few weeks as OHSU is about 45 minutes away and he understands the stress of having to get there in "labor". I feel much better after discussing it but am also thankful that he will respect my wishes of a c-section if Bennett isn't tolerating the natural way if you will! :) <br />
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Chari and I also had our blood drawn to test which/if any of us is carrying the balanced translocation which will help better identify the 11p syndrome. If neither of us have the translocation then they will need to test the amniotic fluid taken but may run into issues with the cells being to old to test, if that happens, they will run tests on his cord blood after birth. We will wait for those results in a week or so. <br />
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We had a great appt and meeting as usual with all our doctors. God has still given us strength and overwhelming peace in our situation which we are grateful for. There are many unknowns still to come but we continue to Believe and trust in whatever the Lords will is for our son. He has done miracles already for our son as we see it and will continue to do so throughout his life. God is good and we will continue to praise and thank him in this storm! <br />
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Blessings and thank you all for your continued prayers and thoughts over our family. We are blessed with amazing support systems but more importantly with our God who never leaves nor forsakes us. How amazing is that! <br />
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You may not be able to tell but here is a picture of Bennett covering his face with his arms and hands not allowing the radiologist to get a look at his face! :) we found lots of humor in this! :) <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-xlcPCS4gE51NUo87WcVodzsfM4i0PftWq-rL8TcRs2DwI5ZJvitYbrIBxlRQ0LCh5g9nYlx_BuRHjF9ja7ulGHJrY7vDmzY71JbNZ8RqeaVem202urj41nB1Zk_31w9igAgy96SG4HHc/s640/blogger-image--616698787.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-xlcPCS4gE51NUo87WcVodzsfM4i0PftWq-rL8TcRs2DwI5ZJvitYbrIBxlRQ0LCh5g9nYlx_BuRHjF9ja7ulGHJrY7vDmzY71JbNZ8RqeaVem202urj41nB1Zk_31w9igAgy96SG4HHc/s640/blogger-image--616698787.jpg" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-66431280550219075822013-02-04T23:12:00.002-08:002013-02-04T23:12:32.691-08:00Worth it all...Where to start?<div>
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Our first appt today was for our routine weekly ultrasound which showed everything to be normal and doing good. His Doppler looked well, his ventricles still normal and he is already practicing breathing on his own which all are really great things. We will measure his growth next week. </div>
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The next appt up was for fetal echo which showed that he still has his aortic stenosis BUT it is still mild which is a big plus. The cardiologist went over that when kids have a mild stenosis is generally something they don't intervene with surgery and they continue to monitor it with age. We will be seen back in 6 weeks where 2 things could have happened. 1) his stenosis is the same which he feels is the more likely case or 2) the stenosis has gotten worse which would mean more monitoring to decide on surgery which would entail going into the heart with a valve and balloon, inflating the balloon into the value to open it up and then deflating it and pulling it back out. This is an unknown still at this point and will take additional monitoring. </div>
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We then had our meeting with the Dr. and the genetic counselor who received the results of the second mircoarray screening of the chromosomes. They have detected the reasons that have restricted his growth. Our son has two syndromes that involve two different chromosome abnormalities. 1) Is Wolf-Hirschhorn which is a partial deletion of the 4p chromosome and 2) Russell-Silver Syndrome which is a partial duplication of 11p chromosome. Both of the syndromes together explain his IUGR (inter uterine growth restrictions) as well as his congenital heart defect.</div>
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These syndromes can mean a lot for our son. They can include a list of things that they expect for him to have such as he will be small with low muscle tone, he may have seizure's (in what i have researched a 50/50 chance), he may have difficulty eating which would mean that he would need to have a feeding tube inserted into the side of his belly, he may have hearing loss, there may be cognitive disorder and he may look different. </div>
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All of the above things are something that the Dr's are expecting but they have only pulled 3 cases of people who have these syndromes together. Another big deciding factor is how the extra 11p chromosome will behave depending on if it was inherited by either me or my husband and we can choose to have further testing done which is something we haven't decided. </div>
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The Dr also mentioned that now that they know what they are dealing with they don't feel that pre-term labor is a concern and vaginal delivery is a possibility and I have my own hesitations to going through with that and something I need to be in prayer about. </div>
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We do not know yet how severe Bennett's case of these syndromes are as we know there are two different sides, mild and severe. We will have to take it when he arrives. We will still be having weekly visits to check his Doppler's and growth, also to plan more about labor.</div>
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First off, I had to smile again today at God because when the genetic counselor was starting to explain Bennett's condition, in the same room, and the same weather as our first appt when we received the news, The sun AGAIN came through the clouds and was shining down on my face. And I cant explain to you the relief one can feel in that moment. Its God's way of showing me that he cares for me, gives me peace, loves me and wants me to trust him. </div>
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Now to get to my emotions of all this. (My husband is out of town and thankfully my sister was able to attend for support and some healthy laughs) In all honesty, of course my flesh is emotional and somewhat fearful and you have all the Why questions BUT beyond that, I still feel an overwhelming sense of peace. I know that my God loves me unconditionally, loves Bennett more than I could ever know and has given us this sweet little piece of heaven. And to be completely honest and raw...I FEEL HUMBLED!!! Humbled that my God chose me and my husband to have this child, to love this child and walk this journey with him. With tears in my eyes I am thanking God. </div>
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This journey will not be easy but with positivity and belief in our hearts we know that our god is a God of miracles and we still believe that. We do not know how long Bennett will be with us but you better believe that every second of every day we will love this boy unconditionally, teach our girls to love him unconditionally and we will continue praising our God. Something that the enemy planned for evil will be for the Lords Glory, and God alone will receive all the honor. Our Bennett is already touching lives and I know my God has BIG PLANS for our boy!!! He is so special and we are so excited to have him apart of this family. </div>
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I continue to be thankful in knowing that the Lord never said it would be easy, but that IT WOULD BE WORTH IT. and my son is WORTH IT. He is worth every prayer, every tear, every fear. </div>
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We ask for your continued prayers in our journey and will update you always. Blessings upon your households.</div>
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The Puente Family xxx</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-6183307928867830772013-01-29T08:52:00.001-08:002013-01-29T08:52:21.623-08:00No news is good news....Yesterday we had our weekly check up to monitor Bennett's dopplers. It went well. Everything is still the same and at this point, no news is good news in our situation. The results of the other test should come back late this week and they will call us with the results. Please be in prayer.<br />
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We also had a meeting and a tour of the NICU. Of course the wonderful neonatalist we met with had to give us statistics if Bennett was to be born right now with his growth restrictions. She went over what it will look like in the operating room. Right when Bennett is removed they will wrap him in plastic (because he will be so little and they need to keep him warm, his little head will be out) then they will rush him to the next room (cant remember the technical term...pregnancy brain) to look over him and start setting him up with all the tools he will need for breathing, all during this time I will be finishing up with my surgery and I won't get to see my baby. :( my husband will be able to take pictures and bring them back to show me but mothers out there can understand how hard of a journey this will be. The next 3 days of his life will be most crucial and he will have little hands on care (maybe 2x a day) because that is the timeframe they are ensuring no bleeding in his brain. It is unknown at this point when we will get to hold him and when he will be stable enough. We have to take his case when it comes. She also told Chari and I to take the statistics with a grain of salt because they do the studies based on a whole bunch of NICU babies within an area and we aren't talking about a whole lot of babies, We are speaking of Bennett and his case. She told us NICU babies are fighters and very strong even given their size. So again at this point, it's a waiting game and another unknown. :) <br />
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Next Monday my sister will be accompanying me to my appointments as my husand is flying out to PA again for work. I am excited to have her with me during this process to see what all this entails each week. They can only measure Bennett every other week so next week we will see how much he has grown, check his dopplers again, have a echo to check on his heart and possibly more testing depending on the results.<br />
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We can't thank everyone enough for their prayers and support. We have an amazing support system of family and church family helping step up with our older children and we just ask everyone to please be in prayer over Bennett. We are praying for growth and health over him.<br />
Please also pray for strength for my husband and I. If anyone has experienced this type of situation then you can understand what we are going through, if you haven't, just know that it's exhausting on every level. It's difficult as a mother to have two full term babies and then with your last to have these complications and the unknowns. We keep our faith and trust in god which is how we have managed over these last few weeks that feel like years. God is a man of miracles!! The doctors can say what they have to say because their education has taught them to but we know that our God is in control, and his word is the last word. <br />
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Blessings over all of you! Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052993538379863315.post-6218970848666699762013-01-24T11:33:00.000-08:002013-01-24T11:33:04.554-08:00In God We Trust....Yesterday we went to OHSU to have our 2 week ultrasound and follow up from our last meeting with the Doctor.<br />
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We had our ultrasound and then right after were able to have our meeting with the Dr. to discuss the results on the amnio and how Bennett is doing<br />
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He told us that Bennett is still not growing as much as they have hoped. He is about 15 ounces (just under a pound and the 500 gram mark). He went on to tell me the positives of today's follow up were... Bennett's Cord Doppler's are great and better than before, I have more amniotic fluid then I did before, The Ventricles in his brain are NORMAL now (they went from 10mm on both sides to almost 7 on one side and almost 8 on the other and this news of the ventricles is AMAZING), and his heartbeat is strong (we wont know the progress of his heart until 2/6/13 echo scheduled). He also mentioned that the amnio tests came back NORMAL but they are going to run one more in depth test on the remaining fluid to see if that shows anything. He ruled out placenta difficulties Becuase those would normally show up on the amnio but they will test the placenta under a microscope when he is born to try and get answers but overall the doctor is happy with today's results but still concerned to why Bennett is not growing. He said our case is still a "mystery" which i heard from 2 ultrasound techs as well.<br />
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We made a plan to be seen every week now to monitor his cord Doppler. Dr mentioned that there is a chance that we could come back next week and Bennett has died but he doesn't feel that will happen because death would be progressive and not overnight. (i.e if his Doppler's were low yesterday they would have admitted me into the hospital and monitored him). He discussed that as long as his Doppler's are normal every week then we need to keep Bennett in there as long as possible and not worry about an intervention until that changes. He still asked us if based on the information we wanted to do a c-section now and I felt it was not a good idea based on his weight. If he is thriving in my womb even if his growth isn't what we expect, we need to keep him in there safe. More so I believe the lord has more miracles to show these staff.<br />
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We are overall happy and thankful for these amazing results. The Genetic Counselor shared how she is always amazed at how a Doctor can give some straightforward advice and how a family will choose against it regardless and then have miracles happen with in weeks. She is amazed. I simply told her we are thankful and expressed that Bennett is not my own, I do NOT get to make the choice to end his life. If its Gods will to have Bennett, that will be a decision that God alone will make not Chari or I or any Doctor. She smiled and said "okay".<br />
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So we will be moving forward and just asking your continued prayers over our Bennett and all the staff. I pray these results come back negative as well and that Bennett's case will remain to be a mystery because we all know God works in mysterious ways. We also pray for Bennett to GROW. We are praying and believing that by next appointment he has grown LEAPS and continues to amaze us!<br />
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We are so grateful for all your prayers and thoughts and will continue to need them. When Bennett is born he will spend a long time in the NICU and at this time, still has his heart condition but we are praying for miracles there too! God is Good and faithful if we put our trust in him. This is still a faith walk but one that we are more than happy to walk knowing that God will use this journey to further his kingdom and what more can we ask for? Of course my flesh has moments of being sad and mad (and I do mean moments). But I am NOT mad at God. How can I be mad at the man who gave me everything, gave me life?<br />
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This may not be the same situation that you may go through in your lifetime, but we all go through our rough times (big or small) and I urge you to put FULL trust in God. Remembering that we serve an AMAZING AND FAITHFUL father that loves us all unconditionally and wants nothing more than for you to rely on him in every aspect of your life! It WILL NOT be easy but he said it would be WORTH it!<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">For I know the plans</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-19647A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">I have for you,” declares the</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">, “plans to prosper</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-19647B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11</span></h4>
Abundant Blessings,<br />
<br />
The Puente FamilyAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514758668156474037noreply@blogger.com5